The Ivy Experience: Part 2

Finally have some time. Though it's pretty late. But time for a collegiate update.

Cliques and All

Dartmouth can be very cliquish. It can be good or bad. I think it's a very interesting social dynamic. As someone who often finds themselves around all different kinds of people, and as things have eventually plateau'd, people start forming into their own little groups. Again, not a bad thing. Just an observation on the specific social dynamic that exists here.

I think for me it has especially been troublesome because of my own personality.

This was an image of me walking into the middle of nowhere after a pretty rough day, for example. I did Cross Country, so I was fine. Just needed to clear my head.

Programmers usually overthink or think of things very differently than others, and may have some differences with processing our emotions. We're all people after all, and we all deal with things differently. I think it's interesting to also note how the other high achieving kids deal with the things they are dealing with as well.

I think it's also really interesting when people continue to assert that they are correct, even when they are definitely not. Between weird interpersonal conflicts about invitation semantics and how it relates to making me or other people feel, to someone citing a project that I had made and trying to correct me, the author (unbenownst to them) on what the project actually was and what it was trying to achieve, things can get really fun up here. I would say that my Ivy Experience so far has been pretty eventful.

The Work Here is Not That Bad

A lot of words get tossed around abotu what it is like up here. "Grade Inflation." "Rigor." "Depth." "I'm Gonna Unalive Myself." It's not that hard. I just came off PSYC 1 and MATH 8 midterms for the first time and they were very solid. Granted I did well on my PSYC 1 and I have not received my MATH 8 one yet, and only the math one is curved; but still, I am not really worried. And I spend a lot of time on crazy, wacky computer science projects with Claude and Codex (thank you free student developer plan 🙏) whenever I have dead time.

I also have some good time to go out and talk to people. I have a radio show on Tuesdays at 7-8pm called Lil Bit, that I do with one of my friends, at webdcr.com - have a listen if you are interested. I'm a big storyteller and personal advocate, so if you want a more conversational peek into what it is like being me, being an African American male, or really just curious about Black life in general, that's what it is. Not really a programming outlet, but a new one nonetheless. She also picks out different songs to play from the 90s/2000s that are a good listen. I've gotten some good recommendations myself.

Overall, the work here is not that bad. You can get by with a lot of free time. I will say that a lot of clubs here are very competitive, but when you get in, you're definitely locked in to it for quite a bit. Onboarding as a freshman has and can be very difficult both logistically and emotionally, but I always remind myself to keep pushing. I think I've learned a lot about myself these past few months, especially with what I value in an academic experience. PSYC 1 is definitely not what I expected, and that's not really in a good or bad way, just a different experience than what I thought it would be. I did have some fun volunteering for an experiment, which was a positive/negative reinforcement excercize, and then getting a free Snoopie plushie out of it.

It Will Get Lonely, and That's Ok

Strangely relevant to my target in the mental health and loneliness epidemic. I'm still wrestling with my entire academic plan and figuring out what exactly I want to label what I study, but the track has generally stayed the same.

Loneliness during your onboarding weeks to months is near inevitable. People come and go. I've probably had to deal with a few situations here and I haven't even been here for a full month yet. I've been backed up and forgetting a bunch of stuff between all the projects I want to do, all the applications and stuff, and all the work I need to get done. I've met some great people, don't get me wrong, but sometimes your expectations of what relationships or friendships should be can change, and you can sometimes get disappointed.

I remember feeling pretty out of it during Homecoming Weekend. I actually skipped the ceremony that they were doing with the whole running around and stuff. Why? Well, despite my naturally outgoing and very bubbly personality, I just don't think I was feeling it that week. In a different headspace, so to speak. And I think it can get very overwhelming with everything that happens and is going on. I don't want to say that week was traumatic, but it can definitely feel like that when it was very recent. And people have different ways of reacting to how you feel, and that led to some encouraging or disappointing results.

So, What Now?

Been working on a lot of stuff. Commits are exploding as normal - Claude and Codex run in the background as they always have, and instead of more writing or other side work that I do it just gets replaced with school instead. Thinking about appling to a lot of stuff as well.

Sometimes I forget that what I do is still a little different and unique. But, just gotta keep moving forward. College is a new time, a new experience, and "the best time of your life" so to speak, so I just gotta hope that I get there eventually.

Until next time.